You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
