i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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