Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
