I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
