I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
