I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
