So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
