He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
