On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I want a musical about memes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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