I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
