Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dignity is for republicans.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Randomize
