you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
