I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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