I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
