So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
