so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
