What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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