exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
