I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
