Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
