so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
