Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
