I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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