It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
