I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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