i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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