the condom got lost in my hair
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
