Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
