that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
