She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
