Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We have so much sex to catch up on
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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