he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
