Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
