he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
