I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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