I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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