And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
