Your tits are I can't wait for
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
