I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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