you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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