Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
