Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
