My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
