He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
