OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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