drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
