At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
