I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
