Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
