Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
