a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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