JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
