So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
