i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
