im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
